Recommended Book: When Helping You is Hurting Me

Is your life dramatically out of balance? Do you over commit to others and under commit to yourself? The end result could potentially be mental, emotional, and physical illness or dis-ease and I highly recommend reading: “When Helping You Is Hurting Me: Escaping the Messiah Trap” by Carmen Renee Berry. She explores how people fall into the messiah trap where they have a strong tendency to take care of everyone else’s needs and ignore their own. She describes how messiahs are trapped through childhood trauma and many early life experiences. She explores messiah behaviors and characteristics (see below), and most importantly, how to escape the messiah trap.

Do you have any of these messiah characteristics?

  • Tries to earn a sense of worth by “acting” worthy
  • Lets others determine his or her actions
  • Needs to overachieve
  • Is attracted to helping those with similar pain
  • Experiences difficulty in establishing peer and intimate relationships
  • Is caught in a cycle of isolation
  • Is driven to endless activity
  • Stops when he or she drops

If you are a people-pleaser, rescuer, giver, counselor, protector, teacher and/or crusader, this book can teach you how to love yourself and also truly help the ones you love.  This book explained so much for me about why I am the way I am.


Posted by:  Angela Whiting, North Hampton, NH.


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